Author Archives: Cynthia

Turn It Up!

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Four weeks ago, I had dinner with some friends at a Korean bbq restaurant next to a Chinese grocery.  Afterwards, we all went to the store to walk off the several pounds of grilled meats we had just stuffed down our throats.  It was exciting for me because as I’ve mentioned before, it’s rare that I go to Asian grocery stores since I live so much closer to a Giant and Costco.  I was walking through the produce section, and I saw a bin of daikon radishes.  When I see daikon radishes, my first thought is LUO BUO GAO!  Or in English, turnip cakes.  You see this dish at dim sum restaurants.  Tender cakes made out of radish, Chinese bacon or sausage, and dried mushroom, and then the outside is fried to golden crispiness.  I don’t know why they call it turnip cake when it’s made out of radish, but whatever.  Although important note: DO NOT use regular white turnips for this dish.  I tried it once.  Daikon radish ≠ white turnip.  Sad face.

My friend who was walking around with me had recently sent me a picture of daikon radishes that her mom was going to use for turnip cakes.  When I saw the bin of daikons and my friend, my initial thought was that I wanted, no NEEDED to eat turnip cakes.  I impulsively bought a daikon radish, but then I regretted it immediately afterwards.

Flashback!  Several years ago, I had a craving for radish cakes.  But it’s not like I live terribly close to dim sum restaurants, and the wait times to get a table on the weekends can be ridiculous.  To satisfy my craving, I went to the Asian store and got some ready to fry turnip cakes.  They were disappointing to say the least.  Maybe I got the wrong brands, but regardless, they were no good.  So I did a search for turnip cake recipes to see if they are something I can make at home.  I mentioned this before, but I am not well versed in producing Chinese cuisine.  I’ve eaten Chinese food all my life, and growing up, I watched my mom cook it everyday, but I never really learned how to make it.  I make my Americanized version of Chinese food sometimes, but it’s difficult for me to reproduce the flavors found in authentic home cooking or restaurants.  I’m sure I can improve if I practice…but man!  Chinese food takes so long to make.  Depending on the dish, there can be so much freaking prep work: washing, peeling, chopping, soaking, marinating, rolling doughs, wrapping shit up.  Not to mention the lengthy lists of aromatics and seasonings to obtain: ginger, garlic, green onion, chili peppers, star anise, cinnamon sticks, light soy sauce, dark soy sauce, sesame oil, cooking wine, chili sauce, oyster sauce, etcetcetc!  It can be daunting to take on Chinese cooking, and it’s just not something I prioritize in making, so alas, I am still a newb.  Ok, back to the story. I took on the slightly intimidating task of making turnip cake at home.  Good news is that it tasted fantastic.  I experimented several times and came up with my own recipe, and it brings a joyful tear to my eye that I was actually able to make Chinese food that tastes like something from a restaurant.  Actually, it tastes even better than some restaurants I’ve been to.  YEEEEAH WHAT.

Now to the bad news.  It took sooo long to make.  After I bought the blasted daikon radish, I remembered that it takes forever to make the damn thing.  Ok I exaggerate, but it does take some time to make them.  But it was too late.  I told myself and my friends that I would make turnip cakes.  I had to commit.

I threw my daikon in a fridge drawer, and after I closed the drawer, I closed it out of my mind.  I could not deal with daikon drama yet.  After two weeks, I finally uncovered my poor rejected daikon.  It was in a sad state, all soft and limp.  But I rescued it!  I gave it the veggie viagra treatment.  I put the radish in a glass with a couple inches of water, asphyxiated it, and refrigerated it.  It got all hard and happy again, and it was ready to get some.  However, I was not ready for some radish fun, so I left it in the water glass for two more weeks.  After four weeks of loneliness, the radish was still good!  The asphyxiation method works for other veggies too, I’ve tried it on green onion, carrots, lettuces, herbs.  I wrote about how I preserve herbs and veggies before, take a look for more tips.  Don’t waste food!

Happy daikon on veggie viagra

By the way, to be clear, this is a chunky turnip cake.  My favorite part of the turnip cake is when I get meaty bites.  I feel cheated when I eat turnip cakes that are all batter and no substance.  My obvious solution is to pack in the meeeat.  If you don’t like chewing, or prefer a smoother turnip cake, then decrease the amount of filling, or mince them finely, or puree the shit out of it.  Whatever.  You do you.

There are many steps to this dish, and there were times when I was doing several things at the same time, so bear with me, and hopefully this isn’t too confusing.  This is a good dish to practice your multitasking skills.

Here is my happy daikon finally ready for some action.  It was a tad over 2 pounds.

Hefty forearm length, good for beating robbers on the head, especially after it’s viagra treatment.

After I peeled the radish, I used my mandolin to shred it up.  Please use the hand guard once you get close to the end of the radish.  Shredded fingers would totally ruin this dish.  If you don’t have a mandolin, then use some other tool to shred this baby up.  My hefty radish came out to be around 4.5 cups packed.

Shred radish, not fingers

Put the shredded radish into some kind of pot or wok.  I have my rarely used nonstick wok.  Add enough water to cover the radish, cover the wok, and simmer the radish for around 20 minutes.

After the radish is done simmering away, drain it and put it in a big bowl.  DO NOT discard the turnip water.  We will use it soon enough.

After a soak in the hot tub, this radish is ready for some friends to join the party.

When I was at the Chinese store, I got the other fixings that go with the turnip cake.  Actually, my friend helped me get them.  Have you all seen the selection of Chinese sausage at the store!?  Dude, it’s always a crapshoot for me since I don’t know which brands are the good ones, and since I get them so rarely, I forget which brands I like and dislike.  So my more experienced friend selected a package of Chinese sausage for me.  I like how each portion is wrapped.  Usually the whole mass of sausages are clumped together, so they all need to be used up once open.  This brand was a little lean for my taste, but the flavor was good.

Finely chop up the sausages.  This was around 4 ounces of sausage.

Even with my lack of experience, I am still more accustomed to using Chinese sausage in my cooking.  My friend was like, you have to get Chinese bacon too!  So I was like, um ok, and she picked out a pack for me.  The last time I used Chinese bacon was four years ago, so I was rather rusty with my bacon handling.  She warned me that I have to soften it first, and I was like, eh…? and then I forgot about it after I threw the bacon into my fridge with the radish.  Note: If you only want to use bacon or only want to use sausage, that’s cool.  Still damn tasty.  These are also portioned, so I don’t have to use everything once the pack is open.  I hate the over usage of plastic, but in this case, I won’t use up the whole pack before they go bad, so I need to pick and choose my environmental battles.

I remembered my friend’s warning to soften the bacon first.  The package had instructions to steam the bacon, but unburying my steamer was a pain, so I turned to the internets, and Serious Eats had a post about Chinese bacon, and they soaked the bacon for several hours to soften it.  Grabbing a storage container was a lot easier than finding my steamer, so score!  I left the bacon covered with water overnight.

After the overnight soak, I cut off the hard rind and chopped up the now much softer bacon.  I ended up with around 4 ounces of bacon.  I didn’t want to just throw out the rinds, so they’re still in my fridge.  I’m going to cook it with some vegetables and hopefully give an extra boost of flavor.

Now on to more soaking.  I got six dried mushrooms and covered them with freshly boiled water.  I have no idea what kind of mushrooms these are.  The dried mushroom section at Asian stores are quite mysterious.  Many of the labels just say mushroom.  I just picked a pack.  They have served me well, so, yay!  I let the mushrooms soak up the hot water for about 20 minutes.

I also got 1/3 cup of dried shrimp and also soaked them in boiling water for about 20 minutes.

After their hot soak, I squeezed the water out of the mushrooms and shrimp, and chopped them up.  Cut off the ends of the mushrooms if they are too woody and hard.  I very finely chopped the shrimp because I don’t like chewing on big pieces of sharp shells.  DO NOT discard the mushroom and shrimp water.  That there is crucial umami water.  We will be using it in the dish.  Any leftover water can be added to soups, cook your rice in it, make a sauce, something.  Just don’t toss it.

Finely chop up a bunch of green onion.

Here is my mess of various dishes taking up my counter top.

Finally, we are done with the soaking and chopping!  Pour a little oil into a pan and cook the bacon on medium-low/medium heat for around 3 minutes or until the fat begins to render.  If my sausage was fattier, then I would have cooked it with the bacon to render some of its fat.  But since it was so lean, I just waited to add the sausage.

Add the mushrooms, shrimp, sausage, and green onion.  Cook for around 3-4 minutes, or until you get hit with some serious savory aromatherapy.

Add 1 tbs of cooking rice wine and 2 tsp of sugar.  You’ll get hit with a sweet boozy scent at this point.  Cook for another couple of minutes.

Combine the meat mixture with the cooked radish.  It’s getting real in there.

Here’s another Asian store find.  We’ll need 2 cups of rice flour.  When you are buying rice flour, you might see glutinous rice flour next to the regular rice flour.  DO NOT use glutinous rice flour.  I’m actually a little curious how the dish would turn out if sticky glutinous rice flour is used, so if anyone does it on purpose or by accident, let me know how it is!

Remember the umami water?  Mix the mushroom and shrimp water together and use 1.5 cups for the batter.  There will be some sediment at the bottom of the bowl.  That’s like dirt and bits of shrimp parts, you can toss that.  Stir the water into the rice flour to make a smooth thin pancake like batter.  Add 2 tbs soy sauce and a generous pinch of salt.

Pour the batter into the radish mixture and combine well.

We will need to steam the cake.  I do not have a steamer big enough for this purpose, so I will do what my mom does and Macgyver that ish.  Man, I miss seeing Richard Dean Anderson, maybe I will watch Stargate again.  Remember the wok full of radish water?  That will be the steaming water.  I inverted a small heatproof bowl, and placed it in the wok.

The recipes I’ve seen for radish cake use a loaf pan.  But my loaf pan will not fit in my wok, so I usually use a regular cake pan.  This time, my eyes fell on my bundt pan, and I thought what the hell, why not?  So I sprayed my bundt pan with Pam, and poured the batter in.  The water was touching the cake pan, but that is ok.  As long as the bottom and sides of the pan are not touching the wok.  I have no idea what the serving size of this dish is, but it is enough for one bundt cake.

Cover the wok up and steam on low heat for 1 hour.  The cake is done when the batter firms up and it’s not all wet and mushy.  I just poked at it a bit to check the mushiness level.  Check the water level periodically and refill if necessary.  Don’t be like me and try to burn down the kitchen.  Segue to a helpful tip!

I forgot to refill the water, and I was left with this crusty shit.  But it’s ok!  I fixed it!

Do not despair!

I wrote a post about this before, but if you have a crusty burnt mess in your cooking vessel, you can clean it without any scrubbing.  I sprinkled about 1/3 cup of baking soda into the wok, covered the bottom with water, and let it simmer for about 10 minutes.  Then I used a rubber spatula and scraped the burnt bits right off.

Tadaa!  This is after I poured out the burnt baking soda water.  The crusty shit is gone, the white spots are from the baking soda.

Crusty shit no more!

Back to the main story.  Here is my beautiful turnip bundt cake.  Ok, so about the bundt pan.  I  used it for the hell of it, but note that when you slice the cake to fry, one side of the piece will be a bit thicker.  But that didn’t matter much to me, so whatever.  After the cake is done steaming, loosen the sides from the pan.  I let mine cool down slightly before dumping it out of the pan.  The cake will be too soft to slice for frying, so again with the waiting game.  I sprayed some Pam on the cake and wrapped it with some plastic wrap and stuck it in the fridge.  A few hours should be good, but I just left it overnight.  Note, turnip cake freezes well.

Now for the most anticipated part!  Once the cake is cool and firm, slice it for frying.  I sliced mine into 0.5 inch pieces.  Fry each side for about 3 minutes, or until your desired golden crispness.

YES.  YES.  Finally.  After literally days of preparation.  I like eating my turnip cake with a bit of garlic chili oil.  Mmm.  Was it worth the work and wait?  Hell yes.  Will I do it again?  Maybe in a few years once I’ve forgotten how annoying it is to make.  It’s like having another baby after a few years of respite.  Yes cuteness and more cuteness, oooooh wait, sooo much work…

This is my first time using my new kitty cat plate and dog chopstick holder!

Turnip Cake

Ingredients (Remember, chunky!  Decrease meats or find another recipe if you don’t want this)
– 2 pounds of daikon radish (around 4.5 cups packed)
– 4 ounces of Chinese bacon
– 4 ounces of Chinese sausage
– 6 dried mushrooms
– 1/3 cup of dried shrimp
– 1 bunch of green onion
– 2 cups rice flour
– 1 tablespoon cooking rice wine
– 2 teaspoons sugar
– 2 tablespoons soy sauce
– salt
– oil

Directions (Do the prep work in whatever order works for you)
– Peel the radish and shred with your choice of kitchen tool.  Put the shredded radish into a wok and cover with water.  Cover the wok and simmer on low heat for 20 minutes.  Drain the radish and place into a large bowl.  Keep the radish water in the wok.
– Soak the Chinese bacon or follow the steaming instructions on the package to soften the meat.  Cut off the rind and finely chop the meat up.
– Put the mushrooms in a bowl, and cover them with hot water.  Soak for 20 minutes.
– Put the dried shrimp in a bowl, cover with hot water, and soak for 20 minutes.
– Squeeze the water out of the mushrooms and shrimp, and finely chop them up.  Discard the woody ends of the mushroom if they are too hard.  KEEP the soaking water.
– Finely chop up the Chinese sausage.
– Finely chop up the green onion.
–  Oil a pan and cook the bacon on medium low/medium heat for 3 minutes or until the fat starts to melt.  If your sausage is very fatty, cook it with the bacon to melt the fat.
– Add the sausage (if lean), mushroom, shrimp, and green onion to the bacon.  Cook for another 3 minutes or so.  You’ll smell a very fragrant aroma after a few minutes of cooking.
– Add the sugar and rice wine to the mix, and cook for couple minutes.
– Mix the whole lot into the bowl of radish.  Combine well.
– Mix the rice flour with 1.5 cups of the mushroom and shrimp water until you get a smooth and thin pancake like consistency.  Add the soy sauce and a big pinch of salt.
– Mix the batter into the bowl of radish and combine well.
– Grease a heatproof vessel of your choice and pour the mixture in.
– Put the heatproof vessel into a steamer and steam for 1 hour.  Check the water level periodically and refill with water if necessary.  The cake is done when the batter firms up and the batter is no longer mushy and wet.
– Cool the cake and remove from the pan.  Store the cake in the refrigerator for several hours or overnight until the cake is completely cold and firm.
– Slice the cake into whatever size pieces you want, and fry for 3 minutes on each side, or until it is as golden brown as your stomach desires.

Taiwan Number 1!

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You either know what I am referring to in my title, or you have no idea.  Look up the video for some hilarious trolling of mainland Chinese gamers.

I’m finally back!  Not that I went anywhere.  I have plenty of excuses of why I haven’t posted in so long, but no more excuses.  After a couple tries, I got my password right, and here I am typing away.  I missed some peak crafting and feasting holidays, so hope everyone had memorable and joyous celebrations with friends and family over the last few months.

My family was fortunate to celebrate one last Christmas with one of my aunts on my dad’s side.  She passed away last week, so we just had her funeral.  When I was younger, I’d excitedly look forward to being older.  Older meant being able to drive, go to college, go to clubs, earn more money, travel more, buy nice things, upgrade to even nicer things, etc.  But I forgot that growing older meant everyone else grows older too.  My family members, especially the older ones are having more health problems.  I’ve already lost several relatives, and too often I hear of friends losing parents.  That scares me because my parents are definitely not as healthy as they were a few years ago.

When my aunt passed, it was a bit of a wake up call.  Many of the photos I saw at her viewing were of her surrounded by loved ones, traveling with my uncle, and it looked like she really enjoyed her life.  I am always impressed, amazed, and a little jealous when I hear of people who live life to their fullest doing kick ass things and going to kick ass places.  It’s not like I can’t do it, but I wonder how they wade out of life’s bullshit in order to do it.  My days are a blur of humdrum routine.  I am grateful for a stable life, but as Ariel sang it, I want more.  I’m not sure how to take my first steps in order to feel more fulfilled.  Just the other day I was looking at the On This Day posts on Facebook, and I read something I wrote in 2007.  Back then, I was in grad school and just getting started with my professional life, and I wanted to do so much to help people.  (I was in social work).  I wanted to touch people’s lives, and somehow life just happened.  I turned into a negative, naysayer grown up stuck in my dull grown up life, and who have I helped lately?!  I keep looking for a lifesaver to drag me back to where I want to be, but that’s not going to work.  I need to swim my ass out, but man I suck at swimming.  I really do.

Wtf, what am I even writing.  I had this post all planned out in my mind, and I was going to write about the project I just finished yesterday.

My mom left for Taiwan yesterday to visit her sisters.  One of my aunts is an artist, like, a legit artist who went to art school, published books of her works, and teaches art class.  When I was little, she went to art school in D.C., so she stayed with us and helped raise us.  I attribute my love for arts and crafts to her early introduction and lessons.  Her health has been pretty bad for the last few years and she is unable to fly over to visit anymore.  When Zoe showed an interest in arts and crafts, I had these dreams of my aunt giving her lessons over the years.  They would certainly be more lenient and pleasant than my childhood lessons.  Somehow once a parent or in this case parent figure becomes a grandparent, they morph from strict authoritative taskmaster to cooing, warm and fuzzies, and lots of candy.  Unfortunately, we can only visit so often, but Zoe has been to Taiwan twice already, and she loves it, and my aunts obviously love her to pieces.

So a few days before my mom left, I was struck with this idea to make something for my aunt.  I’ve shown my aunt pictures of projects I’ve made, but I haven’t made anything for her yet.  I guess this was kind of like a rite of passage for a pupil to show her master how much she has progressed.  My idea was a bit involved, but I worked on it nonstop for 3 days and got it done and delivered.  I made a felt map of Taiwan with iconic images that are hopefully recognizable to people who are familiar with Taiwan.  I wanted to express my love for Taiwan and arts and crafts.

My love for Taiwan is kind of hard to explain.  I was born in America, this will always be my home, I love this country, and I have no intention of moving elsewhere.  But, I spent many childhood summers in Taiwan, and I feel a deep and heartfelt connection to Taiwan.  I think this is a sentiment that some of my ABC (American born Chinese) friends, or native Taiwanese friends may share.  By the way, I’m only talking about Taiwan.  Even though I am Chinese, I have no ties and very little love for mainland China.

It’s ironic.  My written and spoken Chinese is horrible and I’ve forgotten much of my history lessons from my East Asian studies days.  When I visit Taiwan, it’s painfully obvious that I am a foreigner, an ABC.  I may have the same hair, eye, and skin color, but I don’t dress like the natives, I don’t walk like them, or carry myself like them, and when I open my mouth, it’s just confirmation that I don’t truly belong.  When people hear me speak my Chinglish, the reactions are basically “Wtf is wrong with your Chinese?” or “Ooh your Chinese is so good…for an American.”  So it’s a little ironic and strange to me that even though I know I will always be an outsider, my heart still swells with joy when I go back, and when it’s time to go home, I feel like I am leaving a piece of me behind.  It’s also interesting that when people speak of visiting Taiwan, in Chinese they use the word for “return.”  So when translated to English, they say I am returning to Taiwan, instead of I am going to or vacationing in Taiwan.  Even us ABC’s use that word, as if we are off to the homeland.

I really want my daughter to feel a similar love and connection to Taiwan.  She is only half Chinese, and it’s been difficult for me to teach her Chinese…everything, since it’s like the blind leading the blind.  So far she has been very receptive to Chinese school and she’s already made good memories in Taiwan.  My biggest fear is that my aunt will pass away before Zoe really gets to know her.  It is a gripping, painful fear that hits me whenever I hear of my aunt having a particularly hard time overcoming some new issue, or having to switch meds, etc.  It’s not exactly an easy or cheap trip to fly around the world all the time, so it fills me with anxiety that the clock is counting down, and we only have a limited time left with her.  I mentioned plural aunts, and I love my other aunt dearly.  But I have a special place in my heart for my artist aunt, since she had a big hand in raising me, and she taught me so much.

I’ve written a lot more than I had planned, and it got a little dark, so let me wrap things up.  Like I said, the little icons I made are hopefully recognizable.  But in case you can’t tell what the heck I made, I’ll give a brief explanation.  Starting from the top left, that is the Taiwan flag.  Underneath that is the Maokong Gondola, Zoe’s absolute favorite place to visit in Taiwan.  The view from the gondola, especially if you get in one with the see through floor, is beautiful.  The bridge is Lover’s Bridge in Tamsui.  Tamsui is a great place to spend a few hours exploring: tons of vendors, street food, ferry ride, historic buildings, and scenic views.  Next to that is Taipei 101, which used to be the world’s tallest building.  Chiang Kai-Shek Memorial Hall is a national monument.  That is a cup of bubble tea next to the memorial since Taiwan is where bubble tea originated.  Man is bubble tea super cheap and tasty in Taiwan!  $1 USD will get you a large delicious cup that is normally $4-5 here.  Great for the wallet, horrible for the waistline.  Under that is a red lantern.  The mountains represent Sun Moon Lake.  Some of the most gorgeous scenery I’ve ever seen were at Sun Moon Lake.  Next to that is a steamer of soup dumplings.  I know soup dumplings are a Shanghainese specialty, but when in Taiwan, Din Tai Fung is a crucial stop.  Their location in Hong Kong even has a Michelin star, but anyways, their food is damn good.  I went last time, and I was skeptical because I heard even their fried rice was outstanding.  I tried their fried rice, and holy shit it was freaking good.  Their soup dumplings are the best I’ve had, and they have dessert dumplings with chocolate filling.  Okok, I can write several paragraphs about the place if I don’t stop now.  Under the soup dumplings is a squid on a stick.  Squid on a stick is a popular street food, actually you can find various foods on a stick all over the place.  This squid represents the myriads of street foods that have me salivating right now.  Next to the squid is a bowl of beef noodle soup, another popular food.  Next to that is a pot of tea, because Taiwan produces good tea.  The waterfall on the southern tip represents the various waterfalls and other beautiful places to visit outside of the cities.  Those are scuba fins in the water.  I’ve never been to that area of Taiwan, but I know there are amazing diving spots in the south.  Oh yeah, I sewed the words Taiwan in Chinese.  That took freaking forever!  I didn’t even know what the second character looked like so I had to Google it, and of course it’s a super complicated character with many strokes.  Those 2 Chinese characters were over an hour right there.  I wanted to add some more to the map, but I ran out of time.  I really like how the map turned out.  Maybe I will make one for my home.  Oh and props to my husband for busting out the sewing machine and sewing the edges, and sawing and drilling my dowel.  My photography skills suck.  I have to say, in person, this map looks amazing.  It really does!

Got Me All Choked Up

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It’s been months since I made a craft project.  Summer has been a blur, but I’ve been slowly cleaning the house when possible.  As much as I wanted to start a project, it was just too much trouble to break out the materials, spread out all over the table, and then have to deal with clean up.  Plus, I wasn’t really sure what project to work on next.  There are plenty of things I would love to try making, but nothing appealed enough for me to put the effort into researching, shopping for materials, and actually making.

I was doing some browsing and shopping online, and a photo of a lace choker popped up.  I’ve never been into chokers, even though I somehow acquired a bunch of them during my middle and high school years.  I don’t like how restricting they feel, plus I think my neck is too short and thick to pull one off.  But man, I could not stop thinking about that lace choker.  It was kind of goth, dark yet delicate, and sexy.  I don’t know if I’d ever wear one, but I wanted one.

I’ve been avoiding the craft stores, but my daughter wanted to go yesterday, so I jumped at the opportunity to get some materials.  This was a really easy project, and I’m not just saying that so you’d get suckered into making one too.  It really was an easy project.

I got a yard of lace ribbon from the craft store.  There were all sorts of lace ribbon, but I wanted one that I could hang beads off of, so I got this doily looking one.  After much hemming and hawing, I picked a pendant to be the centerpiece.  Also needed are ribbon clamps for the ends of the ribbon.  There are several size clamps, so get ones that fit your ribbon.  I also got out an adjustable lobster clasp with jump rings to attach to the ribbon clamp.  I wanted to add additional little beads, so I picked some beads from my stash, and head pins.  Get a pair of sharp scissors and needle nose pliers too.

I first wrapped the ribbon around my neck to figure out how much I needed.  I left a small gap between the two ends, so someone with a thinner neck could also wear the choker.  That’s why I used an adjustable lobster clasp.  I used the pliers to attach the ribbon clamps to the ends of the ribbon.

Then I used the pliers to attach the jump rings to the ribbon clamps.

I went over this in my bead earrings post, but to attach the little beads, just slide the bead onto the head pin.  If your head pin is too long, just snip a bit off with wire cutters.

Use the pliers to curl the end of the pin into a loop.  Don’t close the loop yet.

Use the pliers to squeeze the loop shut once you hook the head pin onto the ribbon.

I attached the little beads first, and then my pendant as the finishing touch.  There you have it.  That was pretty simple, right?

Ok, so the choker is way too big (there is a ton of overlap on the back of her neck) and grown up for my five year old, but I needed a neck to model the choker, and it was either her, or her 3′ tall Elsa doll.

Being a Stay At Home Mom Fucked Me Up

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First of all, I absolutely love my daughter.  She was an unexpected surprise, whose arrival was a few years early.  But, once I got past the freak out “oh my God” and “I’m not ready” stage, I fell in love with this tiny person whom I am now responsible for.

This post is not an argument for or against stay at home moms.  This is simply a testimony about how being a stay at home mom was and is, the most difficult job I have ever had, and how it has affected my life and well-being.  You may agree or disagree, like or dislike what I write.  I don’t really care.  I just want to get this weight off of my chest that I’ve been holding onto for six years.

My original plan after birth was to return to work after my maternity leave ended.  I wanted to work part time so I could spend time with my daughter and be a working mom.  At the time, I was an advocate for people with developmental disabilities.  As many of you know, the pay for people in the social work field is bullshit considering the amount of work and stress we deal with.  After my maternity leave ended, my plan to work part time didn’t work out.  After some discussion, my husband and I agreed that I would stay at home to care for our daughter.  It would have cost my paycheck to put her in daycare, so it made sense for me to quit my job and become the main caregiver.

To be clear, I DO NOT regret becoming a stay at home mom.  I love watching my daughter grow up, and being able to witness her many milestones.  I love being here for her.  I am fortunate to be able to do something so many parents, my husband included, wish they could do.

Being a new mom, however, was a shitty job.  Even people who are not parents have an inkling of the shit that new parents go through.  The sleepless nights, the hourly feedings, the “I’ve tried everything I can possibly think of to please you, why the fuck are you still crying?” times, the vomit and diarrhea, the panic ridden days and nights when she’s sick and all we could do was wait it out.  Not to mention the bigger question of how do I raise her to not become a psycho bitch?

I was struggling to learn how to be a decent parent.  This rough transition was to be expected though.  I was thrown into this completely new job where all the training manuals I read were useless, or made me feel useless.

What I did not expect though, was how much I sucked at being a SAHM.  I’ve had jobs since I was 14.  I liked working.  I didn’t necessarily like going to work, but I liked being productive, completing meaningful tasks, and getting money for it.  Being a SAHM was fucking hard for me.  I had a hell of a time figuring out the baby’s ever changing schedule and needs.  In the process, I forgot about my own schedule and needs.  My whole life now revolved around the baby.  My personality and attitude were changing big time and I couldn’t stop it.  Some of it I could see happening, other things I didn’t even notice until they were pointed out to me.

I tried to be a good mom.  I tried to breastfeed, but I couldn’t produce enough milk, so I supplemented with expensive organic formula.  I made my own pureed baby food.  I would literally spend 6 hours every freaking day sitting in the kitchen trying to get her to eat because she was a picky eater.  I suffered being surrounded by asinine STFU conversations of other stay at home parents when I took her to various classes to socialize and play.  I taught her life skills and the basics of reading and numbers.

But I always felt guilty.  I should have tried harder to teach her Chinese.  I should have tried to get her to eat more foods.  I should have taken her to more activities.  I should have stopped her from watching so much tv or playing so much ipad.  I should have spent more time playing with her instead of screwing around on my phone.

When I saw social media posts and photos of other SAHM’s, I felt even more guilty.  I knew moms who were fucking rock stars.  They took their kids (yes multiple kids) out all the time.  They went on outings and play dates, they prepared fun and educational activities at home.  They were able to clean the house and cook meals, and look good while doing it.  And they looked like they were loving every minute of it.  It just drove another sword into my heart because I couldn’t seem to achieve that kind of happiness or success with my new job.  I understand that the photos and posts only showed a snippet of their lives.  It only showed what they wanted people to see.  I did the same thing with my own Facebook page.  I put on a happy front with cute posts.  Of course I truly had good times, but no one saw the truly bad times.

I couldn’t even go to the mall without feeling some anxiety.  Be it the fear that she’d cry while I drove, the anxiety of finding somewhere to change her diaper, or that she would get pushed around by older kids, etc.  I even lost my nerve to drive further than nearby stores, when I used to drive all over the damn state for my old job and activities.  I used to fearlessly, albeit nervously, drive everywhere when GPS and smart phones were not a thing yet.  What the hell happened to me?!

Don’t get me wrong.  I had a lot of fun with my daughter.  She is the most delightful little girl I have ever known, and I’m not saying that because I’m biased.  She has her bratty moments, but she is also legit sweet, easygoing, and lovable.  I thank God that she is such an easy kid (except when it comes to food).  She brightens my day and I can’t imagine not having her in my life.

Which is why I felt even guiltier for feeling guilty.  If that makes any sense.  Why the fuck do I feel like I could barely keep my shit together when she is seriously the most easy going kid I’ve ever known.  I felt so wrong and ungrateful for those feelings.

It seemed like the more I tried to be a good mom, the more I lost myself.  I was forever exhausted.  I stopped smiling and laughing when I was not around her, because I was tired from putting on a happy face for her all day.  I rarely left the house to hang out with friends.  I stopped talking to a lot of friends.  I just about stopped going to my own activities.  I also put a lot of strain on my husband and our marriage.  I didn’t know how to find the balance I so badly needed, so I would lash out at him in my frustration.  There were many days where I would all but throw our daughter at him (no, I never actually threw her at him), the moment he got home from work, because I poured so much of myself into caring for her, that all I had left in me at the end of the day, was impatience and anger.  I wanted to clock out the second he pulled up to the house, but I couldn’t, so my rage would build until I’d inevitably blow up at him.

There were many days where I didn’t get shit done around the house, either by choice, or because of uncontrollable circumstances.  That would add another layer of guilt because I was not doing my job.  I was staying at home, it should be my responsibility to do the laundry, vacuum, cook dinner.  When my husband cared for our daughter, or did stuff around the house, I felt guilty because he was already tired and stressed from being at his job all day.  I knew deep down that he wanted to do his job as a dad and husband, but I felt guilty that he was already working so hard to support us.

When I spent money from our joint account, I felt guilty because I was spending money that I did not earn.  Sometimes my husband would joke when I bought him presents, because it was bought with his money.  He has never denied me anything nor complained about my spending, so I know better than to take him seriously.  But, I still felt so much guilt for not contributing financially to our family.

For the last six years, I’ve been riding endless waves of guilt.  In between the many joys, love, and highs I experienced with my daughter, I felt such lows of self hatred, incompetence, and inadequacy.

In my mental and emotional slump, I also let my body go.  I became weak, flabby, and fat.  I only wore t-shirts and stretchy pants.  I couldn’t get back into an exercise routine even though I knew it would help me physically and mentally.  I recognized that I was in a terrible slump.  I could see myself falling deeper and deeper.  I tried to psychoanalyze myself, to diagnose myself, to fix myself.  My husband tried to help me.  But I kept pushing him away.  I was stubborn, felt sorry for myself, and I didn’t want to hear about my faults from someone who could not possibly understand what I was going through.  I didn’t want to join any forums or support groups because I didn’t want to hear about other people’s shitty lives too.

Long story short and fast forward…  I took tiny, tiny, baby steps, and took many backwards and sideways steps.  But, I am finally moving forward.  I was an idiot and should have seen a professional for help, but I am an idiot.  It took me two years to feel comfortable with leaving the house alone with my daughter.  It took me three years to become comfortable with being a mom.  It took me four years to come to terms with being a SAHM.  It took me about four-five years to start doing things I like again, to meet with friends, and to communicate better with my husband.  This year I took a huge plunge and started working out at an athletic training class aka hard core, high intensity shit with sweat soaked shirts and puke.  But after almost half a year of busting my ass, I am finally getting stronger, toned, and feeling good about my body.  That in itself has done wonders with my confidence and self esteem.

Right now, my main problem is making new friends.  I now know that a huge part of my depression was loneliness.  We moved to a new area, and many of my friends are currently living in different states or countries.  I used to be friendly and nice to people.  I used to be more approachable and talkative.  A few years ago, I actually liked being around people.  After so many years of being a recluse with resting bitch face, I’ve forgotten how to reach out and open up.  I didn’t even realize this epiphany until tonight.  I was feeling all sorry for myself, and saying screw the world, if people don’t like me, then screw them too.  But after a weepy and heated argument with my husband, I realized that if I don’t even like how I am, then why should others?  My half-assed attempts of talking to people were exactly that: half-assed.  I felt like an anime character curled up in the corner with lines of sadness and disappointment on my face.  That needs to stop.  I just feel nervous because I don’t really remember how to make new friends.  It’s like being an awkward kid in school all over again.

I spent all freaking night writing this.  It is actually 6 am now, but I could not fall asleep because this was on my mind.  I wanted to write about this for a while now, but I was afraid and ashamed of people knowing what a wreck I’ve become, although they probably could see for themselves already.  But writing this has been therapeutic, and I realized that I want people to know.  I’ve pushed a lot of people away and I’m sorry.  I’m still finding myself after being lost for so many years.  It’ll be slow, but I’m working on it.  I still think I could be a better SAHM, but my daughter is doing fine in school and at home, and she loves me.  I’ll take it.

Ice Cream! Ice Cream! We All Scream For…No Churn?!

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Now that I’ve stepped into the dangerous zone of no churn ice cream, there’s no turning back.  The cherry cheesecake ice cream I made was damn good, and the kid and I have been steadily chipping away at it.  As luck would have it, I got a bunch of fresh mint from the CSA last week.  Fresh mint = mint ice cream!!  I tried making fresh mint ice cream a few years ago, but it was a more complicated process where I steeped the mint in cream, cooked it into a custard, used the ice cream machine, etc.  It was a pain in the ass, and I didn’t even like it that much.  Now that I have a pretty good grasp on the no churn method, I wanted to try again.  I decided to add Oreos into the mix, because, why the hell not?!  Cookies and Cream Mint Ice Cream!

I picked up my CSA loot on a super hot and muggy day.  It was such a gross day, that during the drive home, my mint wilted into a sad, limp handful of nope.  BUT.  I saved them.  There is an easy way to rescue wilted vegetables and herbs.  I wrote about it in my Efficient Like a Boss post.  I put the mint into a cup and poured enough water to cover the bottom of the stems.  Then I put a plastic bag over the mint and wrapped a rubber band to secure the bag to the cup.  After a few hours in the fridge, the mint perked right back up.  This method keeps herbs and vegetables fresh longer, and also works to rescue limp produce that you might otherwise toss.  Actually, at this very moment, I have a large cup full of Swiss chard, kale, and fennel in the fridge keeping fresh and perky.

Anyways, back to making ice cream.  I’m not actually sure how much fresh mint to use for the ideal minty flavor.  I only had the bunch I received from the farm, and that came out to be about a half cup.  So, if you have access to more mint, then by all means, use more.  If you don’t have any fresh mint, then you can use mint extract.  I ended up using both fresh mint and mint extract.  I used my old fashioned mortar and pestle to grind up my mint leaves.  I added a tablespoon of sugar.  Honestly, I don’t think the sugar was necessary, but I was making stuff up as I went, and it seemed like the right thing to do at the time.  So, we’ll say, sugar is optional.  You can use a food processor, but I like the mortar and pestle because using them make me feel like an alchemist.  Plus, the food processor ends up mangling and ripping the leaves and does not extrude all the minty goodness out of the leaves.

It only took a minute to mash up the leaves into a dark green paste.  Set that aside.

I whipped 2 cups of heavy cream with a teaspoon of vanilla extract into whipped cream.  I started on low speed to avoid splatter and worked my way up to high speed as the mixture thickened.  Mix on high speed until stiff peaks form.

Stiff peaks.  Put the whipped cream in the fridge if you’re not ready to use it yet.

I strained the mint paste and used a spoon to squeeze out as much minty liquid as I could out of that clump.

I added a can of sweetened condensed milk to the mint liquid.

Then I got the whipped cream out and gently folded it into the minty condensed milk.  Don’t be too rough and mix vigorously, or the whipped cream will deflate and get too liquidy.

Smooth creamy ice cream base after the folding is complete.  Give it a taste.  If it’s not minty enough, add mint extract.  To me, the mint flavor was too gentle, so I added half a teaspoon of mint extract.  If you decide to add more, add a little at a time because mint extract is potent stuff.

I chopped up about 8 Oreos to make a heaping cup of cookie chunks.

I gently folded the cookie chunks into the ice cream, and then poured it into a freezer-safe container.  It’ll take a few hours for the ice cream to harden.

Needless to say, the ice cream disappeared very quickly.  The dainty Hello Kitty cup and saucer made it even more enjoyable.

No Churn Cookies and Cream Mint Ice Cream

Ingredients
– 1/2 cup packed mint leaves
– 1 tablespoon sugar (optional)
– 1/2 teaspoon or more mint extract (optional)
– 2 cups heavy whipping cream
– 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
– 1 can sweetened condensed milk
–  8 Oreos 

Directions
– Chop up the Oreo cookies into small chunks, set aside.
– Mash the mint leaves and optional spoonful of sugar with a mortar and pestle until a dark, wet paste forms.  Strain the clump using whatever method (strainer, cheesecloth, etc) and get as much of the mint liquid out as possible.  Set aside.
– Whip the heavy whipping cream and vanilla extract until stiff peaks form.  Store the whipped cream in the fridge until ready for use.
– Mix the strained mint liquid with the can of condensed milk.  Gently fold in the whipped cream.  Avoid vigorous mixing so the whipped cream stays fluffy.  If the mixture is not minty enough, add half a teaspoon of mint extract at a time until you’re happy.
– Fold in the chopped cookie chunks.  Pour the ice cream into a freezer-safe container.  Put it in the freezer for about 4 hours or until the ice cream hardens.

Time To Pop Your Ice Cream Cherry

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We started getting our vegetable and fruit share from a local CSA (community supported agriculture) a few weeks ago.  We were with a different CSA for a couple of years, but we had to part ways when we moved.  We were CSA-less last year since we were busy with the move and getting settled in.  I finally got around to looking up what is in the area, and not too surprising (we now live near a lot of farms), I found a bunch of CSA’s.

For those of you who are interested, but not sure about taking the plunge, I urge you to give it a try.  Obviously, do your research first, but we had a great experience with our first CSA, and this new one has been great.  They are a sustainable farm, using integrated pest management.  They are being responsible farmers, minimizing their impact on the environment, and keeping things healthy for people, the land, and animals.  We get to support a local farmer, and get a box full of freshly picked produce for a very reasonable price.  We also get interesting varieties of vegetables and fruits that you probably wouldn’t find at a regular grocery store, along with heirloom varieties.  I also really like how every week is a surprise, and it forces me to try new things.

This is our loot from three weeks ago.  I love it, but I have to say, this sudden increase of leafy greens and fiber in my diet, wrecked me pretty bad.  But that is a personal issue that I have to work out.

Ok, enough of my plug on CSA’s.  Back to the really important part.  Home made, no churn, CHERRY CHEESECAKE ICE CREAM.  Yes, you can make ice cream at home, and NO ice cream maker or messing with rock salt and ice is needed.  It is a fairly simple process, and only requires a few ingredients.  The only special equipment you need is a mixer.

Last week, I got a carton of cherries from the CSA.  My friends also wanted to go to a different local farm to pick berries, so I ended up with more cherries.  I have no idea what kind of cherries they are, but these bright and beautiful little suckers are mouth puckeringly tart.  I had to cook them into something because it was a bit painful eating them plain.

I do not have a cherry pitter because I just do not get cherries often enough to justify getting another gadget.  So I sliced each cherry in half, and had my daughter dig the pits out.  It’s not very pretty, but they’re going to get mashed and mixed into ice cream anyways.  This was about 2 cups of cherries.

I mixed a heaping quarter cup of sugar with 2 tablespoons of cornstarch.  You may need to adjust the amount of sugar you use depending on how tart your cherries are.

I first simmered the cherries for about 10 minutes, until they deflated and let out a lot of juice.  Then I added the sugar and cornstarch and cooked the mixture for another 2-3 minutes.  You’ll notice the mixture thickening.  Don’t forget to stir often or you might end up with a burnt mess.  After I turned off the heat, I stirred in about half a teaspoon of vanilla extract.

Let the cherries cool down.  They are ready for ice cream, or pie, or whatever.  They are still tart, but in a good way now.

On to the ice cream.  I got a package of regular fat cream cheese, a can of sweetened condensed milk, vanilla extract, heavy whipping cream, and graham crackers.  And of course, the cherries.

I first made whipped cream.  I poured 1.5 cups of heavy cream and 1 tablespoon of vanilla into the mixing bowl.  I started on low speed so as not to decorate the kitchen with cream.  I worked my way to high speed and let it go for a few minutes until I got stiff peaks.  I transferred the whipped cream to another bowl, and stuck it in the fridge.  No need to wash the mixing bowl, on to the next step.

Drop the block of cream cheese into the bowl.  I had first let the cream cheese sit at room temperature for about an hour.  This way, it mixed smoothly and easily.

I mixed the cream cheese on medium until it became smooth.  Then I added the whole can of condensed milk.  Make sure you use condensed milk, NOT evaporated milk.  Totally different ingredient, totally different results.  The dark yellow stuff in the bowl is the condensed milk.

Mix the condensed milk and cream cheese together until you get a smooth, liquidy goop.

Get the whipped cream out of the fridge, and scoop the whole lot into the mixing bowl.

At this point, get a spatula out.  Fold the whipped cream gently into the cream cheese mixture.  You don’t want to stir or be too vigorous, or the whipped cream will deflate and become too liquidy.

Pour the finished ice cream base into a freezer safe container.  I used a small Pyrex dish.  I’ve seen a lot of ice cream recipes use a loaf pan.  That’s fine and all, but I don’t have a lid for my loaf pan, and I prefer to keep my ice cream tightly covered in the freezer.  Next to my ice cream are the cherries, and 4 sheets of graham crackers that my daughter helped smash.

So originally, I was going for a swirly look, but my daughter and I had different ideas of what a swirl looks like.  We did not hold back with the cherries and graham crackers.  We threw everything in.

The ice cream is now ready to go into the freezer for a few hours to firm up.  We had some overflow so we had to eat it up.  It tasted really good, like a cheesecake milkshake.

Look at this gorgeous home made ice cream.  It tasted like frozen cheesecake.  I got fancy and drizzled some chocolate balsamic vinegar over my ice cream (not shown), and it was freaking delicious.

Cherry Cheesecake Ice Cream

Cherry Filling

Ingredients:
– 2 cups tart cherries
– 1⁄4 – 1⁄2 cup sugar (depends on how tart your cherries are)
– 2 tablespoons corn starch
– 1⁄2 teaspoon vanilla extract 

Directions:
– Wash and pit the cherries
– Simmer the cherries on medium low heat for about 10 minutes until they release their juices.
– Mix the sugar and corn starch together, then add the mixture to the cherries.  Cook for another 2-3 minutes.
– Take the pot off the heat, and stir in the vanilla extract.  Let the cherries cool before using.

Cream Cheese Ice Cream Base

Ingredients:
– 1.5 cups heavy whipping cream
– 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
– 1 block of regular fat cream cheese (8 ounces)
–  1 can of sweetened condensed milk (14 ounces)

Directions:
– Let the cream cheese sit at room temperature for an hour.
– Pour the heavy cream and vanilla extract into a mixing bowl.  Start on low speed, and work your way to high speed.  Whip on high for a few minutes until the cream forms stiff peaks.  Remove from the bowl and place in the fridge.
– Put the cream cheese into the mixing bowl.  Mix on medium speed until it’s smooth.  
– Add the condensed milk to the cream cheese.  Mix until smooth and liquid looking.
– Gently fold the whipped cream into the cream cheese mixture using a spatula.  Fold until everything is incorporated, smooth and kind of fluffy looking.  
– Pour the ice cream base into a freezer safe container.

Mix or swirl the cherries and 4 crushed graham crackers into the ice cream base.  Put the ice cream into the freezer for at least 4 hours. 

Terr, Ah Cot A Pot For You!

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I couldn’t think of anything clever for the title other than drug references, so this was the best I could do.  My husband didn’t get it, but it might help if you say it out loud!

It’s been so long since my last post, it took me a few minutes to remember how to log in.  I’ve been meaning to crank out a post, but I am the lazy sort.  A lot has been going on over the last couple of months, so life has been hectic, as usual.  Right now, I am making myself get to stuff that I’ve been putting off, including writing a blog post, and doing some serious house cleaning.

I started reorganizing all my arts and crafts supplies.  I am a slob, so over the last half year, I’ve been leaving my stuff all over the floors and various table tops.  Anytime I had guests over, I’d scoop everything up and dump them in a pile on top of my work table, under it, and next to it.  My work table got completely covered, and as a result, I worked on projects on the dining table and kitchen table, and they became covered, and so on and so forth.  What a vicious cycle.  But, I just have no more space left to work on stuff, so here we are.  Hardcore spring cleaning.

Speaking of spring, how is it almost over already?  The weather here is so freaking bipolar, springtime always feels so short.  I swear, it was just snowing not long ago, now the air conditioning is on.  My daughter only has a couple more weeks of school left.  She loves school, and is genuinely sad when she has to miss school.  I really hope she feels like that when she is older!  Her teachers are all amazing, which obviously plays a huge role in her love for school.  We want to give them a thank you present, so I racked my brain for a project that my daughter could help make.

I wanted to give her teachers something meaningful that she helped make.  I walked around the craft store looking for inspiration.  I saw terra-cotta pots in the floral section, so I finally decided to give her teachers a potted plant.  I had my daughter help me paint the pots, and then I got some Hen and Chicks succulents, or sempervivum.  The Hen and Chicks are very low maintenance since they do not require frequent watering.  If you forget them for a while, they will still be alright.  I also thought it was a cute idea, since you know, teachers are like hens, and the students are like chicks.

I never painted a terracotta pot before, so I did a little research on various diy gardening sites.  We first peeled off the stickers and scrubbed the pots clean.  Some of the sites recommended using sandpaper to smooth out uneven surfaces, but as you know, I am lazy.  Plus, I didn’t notice any really uneven spots.  Here, our clean pots are drying outside.

I got several bottles of patio paint.  This paint is for terra-cotta, concrete, wood, and masonry, so they fit my need.  Patio paint is water resistant and does not need a separate sealer.  Some of the sites I visited, used regular acrylic paint, but they also used a sealer on the pots first so water would not screw up the paint job.  The sealer at the store cost more than all my bottles of paint, and I do not need that much sealer, so I just got the paint.

There were stencils conveniently placed right next to the patio paints and pots.  Even though I already have stencils at home, I decided to get these since they are stick on AND reusable.  I figure it would save some trouble to just stick these stencils on the pot instead of struggling to hold a regular stencil in place.  Yay for craft store coupons!

My daughter and I painted the pots.  I did not get a primer, so we just covered the pots and saucers with a layer of white patio paint first.  I don’t know if that really made a difference, but whatever.  I figure in any case, it would make the colors pop more if they were painted on a white surface as opposed to a reddish-brown surface.  The terra-cotta soaked the paint right up, so it took many layers of paint to achieve the color we wanted.

Notice that I protected my table with a layer of scrap paper.  That was actually a bad idea.  The paint is really tacky, and kept sticking to the paper, and bits of paper would stick to the paint, or paint would get ripped off of the pot.  So after a couple of frustrating paint layers, I finally wised up, and got out plastic place mats, and that helped a lot.

This pot is ready for stenciling.  The stick on stencils really were convenient.

Dab dab dab.  We ended up just using foam brushes.  It was easier to apply the paint than using regular paint brushes.

And the big reveal!  Ok, so it’s not perfect.  The paint does bleed a bit.  BUT, no worries.  After the paint dried a bit, I fixed it.

More smeary paint awaiting a makeover.

This is a nail art dotting tool.  If you do not happen to have one of these, a tooth pick should work too.

After the first stencil layer dried, I used the dotting tool to apply more paint, and clean up the fuzzy lines.  Now that’s what I’m talking about.  I love it when my craft supply hoarding pays off.

After following the paint instructions and allowing the paint to fully dry, I sprayed the pots and saucers with a few coats of glossy acrylic sealer.  I like things extra glossy.  Plus, the sealer made the patio paint less tacky feeling.

Finally, everything is dried and ready for the succulents.  I used fast draining potting soil for cacti and succulents, and popped a Hen and Chick into each pot.  This project took a few days because of the drying times, but it was rewarding to go from a regular blah looking terra-cotta pot to a bright customized piece of art.  My daughter was very excited to make these for her teachers.

Pat-a-Cake, Pat-a-Cake, Baker’s Man, Bake Me A…Ok, So It’s Not A Cake

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We had a family baby shower for my cousin recently.  Technically, she is my first cousin once removed.  But, who actually calls their family members by that?  Anyways, my cousin is having a baby, and for their shower, they requested diapers and wipes in lieu of presents.  I couldn’t pass up on an opportunity to make a diaper cake.  The last diaper cake I made was a few years ago, so I googled for some fresh ideas and inspiration.  Along with cakes, I also found some images of diaper tricycles, and they were super cute.  Diaper tricycle > diaper cake.  I had to try making a tricycle.

When I make diaper cakes, I don’t use the rubber band method.  That’s when you tightly roll each diaper and wrap a rubber band around it.  They make gorgeous diaper cakes, and I, myself, received a beautiful cake when I was pregnant.  (Love you Tahrra!)  But from a crafter’s standpoint, it takes a while to roll and tie each little diaper.  And from a new parent’s standpoint, when you have a baby who just had a massive, nasty, blowout, and you’re trying to quickly wrangle on a clean diaper…those tight rolls are a hassle to unroll and keep unfurled.  I wouldn’t have known that until I became a mom, but, now I know.

I mashed up two of my favorite activities, and used large mixing bowls and cake pans to build the diaper cake.  I used that same method to make the tricycle.  You’ll see in the photos below.

I bought a box of Pampers Baby Dry Size 1 diapers.  I ended up using 99 diapers for the tricycle.  I probably could have squeezed some more diapers in, oh well.

Here is my oh so handy, 10 inch springform pan, which will be used for my wheels.  And you thought they were only good for cheesecakes?!  If you don’t have a springform pan, you can also use a regular cake pan, or a large mixing bowl or pot.  But I really like how convenient it is to pop the cake pan apart once I’m ready.

Start stacking the diapers to spiral around the cake pan.

What a nice spiral of tiny butt wrappings.

After my rant about not liking rolled up diapers, I did stuff the middle of the wheel with 3 LOOSELY rolled diapers (no rubber bands used).  I probably could have made a small spiral in the middle, but maybe I will try that next time.

Then I tightly tied a ribbon around the diaper wheel.  I used the flat ribbon used for balloons.

POP that latch

Yeeah, freshly made diaper wheel.

I made 3 wheels.

Originally, I was going to wrap a thick ribbon around each wheel.  But, I didn’t like the ribbons I had at home, so I used strips of cotton fabric from another project.  I used regular Scotch tape to secure the ends of the fabric strips.

This is a 4 pack of receiving blankets.  They came rolled up already.  You may have to re-roll them to adjust their lengths.

I picked 2 blankets to be used for tying the wheels together.  I unrolled them, and placed a length of ribbon that is a little longer than the blanket.

Then I rolled the blanket back up and taped the sides to keep the roll secure.

I (gently) shoved one end of the blanket through the center of the front wheel, and the other end through the center of one of the rear wheels.

Then I tied the ends of the ribbon together.  This part will be covered up later.

Do the same with the other blanket, and shove one end through the front wheel, and the other end through the second rear wheel.

I tucked a bib over the middle section, so it looks like a tricycle seat.

Now, back to the front of the tricycle.  Place another bib over the front wheel, and then put a sippy cup on top of the bib.  Secure it by sliding a piece of ribbon through the center of the front wheel, and tying it around the bib and sippy cup.

Take the remaining 2 receiving blankets, and gently poke their ends into the center of the front wheel.  These 2 blankets will be the handlebars.

Tie the blankets with a ribbon right above the sippy cup, and turn the blankets out so they look like handlebars.  Cover up the ribbon and the rest of the sippy cup with another bib.

Then I stuck a mitten on each handlebar, and tied a bow.

The finished tricycle is pretty difficult to transport on it’s own, so I cut out a piece of cardboard box, and wrapped the top with wrapping paper.  This served as the cake platter.

Back of the tricycle.

Side view.

Materials:
– 10 inch springform pan
– 99 size 1 diapers
– 4 receiving blankets
– 3 bibs
– 1 sippy cup
– 1 pair of mittens
– ribbon
– tape
– cardboard box
– wrapping paper

Shrimp Spaghetti…Squash Alfraudo

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Today, my dinner experiment was a success.  In fact, I am so excited about it, I am writing about it instead of playing Final Fantasy XIV.  If you have any idea what the extent of my gaming addic…I mean passion is, then you know this is serious.

I’ve mentioned before that my husband and I are on a low carb lifestyle.  My husband is hard core cutting out carbs left and right.  I have a more difficult time because, bottom line, I am just not as strong willed, and I really love carby foods.  One food I really miss is a creamy, cheesy pasta dish, with extra cream, and extra cheese.  Did I mention that cream and cheese is crucial?  Luckily, I discovered the amazing spaghetti squash a few years ago, thanks to the CSA (community supported agriculture) we were a part of.  It is absolutely fascinating to me that a squash can be pulled apart into noodle like strands.  Ok, so it’s not the same as eating a bowl of fettuccine.  But it is a healthy and delicious alternative, and it does not leave you super full and bloated like pasta.

Today happens to be Friday, and it is the Lenten season right now.  I don’t know about other denominations, but for Catholics, we abstain from eating meat on Fridays during Lent.  I have little experience cooking seafood.  My aunt, who lived near me, was an amazing cook.  I have very fond memories of going to her house to eat ginger and scallion stir fried crabs and spicy whole shrimp.  Unfortunately, she passed away a few years ago, and I always regret not asking her to teach me when she was healthy.  So for seafood newb me, it is always a bit of a struggle trying to figure out what to cook on Fridays during Lent.

Giant happened to have a serious sale on frozen shrimp a couple of weeks ago.  What was normally a $20 for 2 lb bag of shrimp, was $5 with a coupon stacked with the sale price.  Too bad the limit was 1 bag per person.

So I decided to break out my super cheap bag of frozen shrimp and make shrimp alfredo with my spaghetti squash that’s been sitting in my kitchen for weeks.  I decided to defrost the entire 2 lb bag because I don’t mess around.  It really irks me whenever I go to restaurants, and an $18 shrimp dish only comes with 5 shrimp.  Should have gotten the steak.  While I am no pro at cooking shrimp, I do know that shrimp shells make an excellent stock.  After I defrosted the shrimp and peeled them, I threw the shells back into the freezer for another day.  Obviously, if you are short on time, get the already peeled shrimp.

While I was prepping the shrimp, my spaghetti squash was roasting away in the oven.  I split it in half, and as you can see it was a sloppy job.  Spaghetti squash are really hard, so it can be a little scary cutting them up.  Be careful please.  I drizzled olive oil and sprinkled salt, pepper, and garlic powder on the halves.  Then I turned the squash over, skin side up.  Roast them in a 400°F oven for 40-50 minutes, or until the flesh is easily pierced by a fork.

Here is my cooked squash after I dug out the flesh.

My shrimp were wet, so I dried them in several layers.  I salt and peppered them.

I heated up olive oil, then I cooked the shrimp on medium heat.  Shrimp cook super fast, it only takes a couple of minutes on each side.  Once they turn pink, take them out.  Overcooked, rubbery shrimp are no good.

Bowl o’ shrimp

Remember how I wrote about cleaning crusty shit off pots?  Well this time, the crusty shit is a good thing.  The brown bits left from the shrimp help give the alfredo sauce a bigger flavor punch.  Plus, it would be a stupid pain in the ass to clean it off.  So, throw half a stick of butter right into the pot.

Once the butter melts, throw in about 1/3 of a head of garlic, minced.  It takes seconds, so don’t let the garlic burn.

Once the garlic is cooked, pour in 2 cups of heavy cream.  Look, it made an artsy swirl.  Let the cream come to a gentle simmer.  It takes a few minutes, maybe 3 minutes or so.  You will also feel the crusty burnt bits peeling off.

Once you see tiny bubbles, add the parmesan cheese and mozzarella cheese.  Stir them in and let the sauce gently cook for another few minutes.  Taste it, and add salt and pepper if necessary.

Easy shrimp and spaghetti squash alfredo, just like that.  And I ate 15 extra large shrimp.  YEAH.  Warning: the spaghetti squash does let out a good amount of liquid.  If you don’t want a watery sauce, squeeze the excess liquid out before mixing the squash into the sauce.

Shrimp Spaghetti Squash Alfredo

Ingredients
– 1 spaghetti squash
– 2 lbs shrimp
– half a stick of butter (4 tbs)
– 1/3 head of garlic minced
– 2 cups heavy cream
– 1 cup shredded parmesan cheese (NOT the grated crap you pour out of a canister please)
– 1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
– olive oil
– salt
– pepper
– garlic powder

Directions
– Cut the squash in half and scoop out the seeds.  Drizzle olive oil and sprinkle with salt, pepper, and garlic powder.  Turn the squash face down on a baking sheet.  Roast in a 400°F oven for 40-50 minutes, or until the flesh is easily pierced.  After the squash is cooked, scoop and fluff out the flesh.
– Rinse and dry off the shrimp.  Season with salt and pepper.  Cook in a single layer in olive oil over medium heat.  Cook each side for 1-2 minutes, or until the shrimp turns pink.  Remove from the pot.
– In the same pot, melt the butter.  Add the garlic once the butter is melted.
– Once the garlic is cooked, add the heavy cream.  Let it come to a simmer for a couple of minutes.  Gently scrape off the burnt bits from the shrimp.
– Add the parmesan and mozzarella cheeses and stir them into the sauce.  Cook gently for another couple of minutes.  Add salt and pepper to taste.
– Mix the squash and shrimp into the sauce, and get ready to eat.

If You Liked It, Then You Should Have Put a Mark In It

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My daughter is in a preschool class at a nearby Montessori school.  Back in December, she thrilled us by starting to sound out and read words.  Despite having known her alphabet since she was a toddler, I could never get her to understand how to put letters together to form words.  But thanks to the efforts of her teachers, it finally clicked.  It was like the floodgates had burst open.  Once she started getting the simple 3 letter words, she kept going full speed ahead.  Now, she is talking about chapter books, and it’s only been 3 months since she learned how to read!!

Ever since she was a baby, my husband has read her a book right before bedtime.  Now that she is moving on to longer and wordier books, sometimes it takes several nights to finish a book.  For the last year, she’s taken to using little strips of tissue to mark her place.  It’s not a big deal, but the tissue bits tend to get crumpled and torn, and make a mess.  She’s gotten free paper bookmarks from various events, but their current locations are a mystery.

Every few months, I get together with my crafty girlfriends, and we spend the day eating and working on craft projects.  For my project, I decided to surprise my daughter with magnetic bookmarks.

This is a quick and easy project, and it can be as simple or as fancy as you want.  I got a few pieces of plain cardstock (they were on sale 5 for $1), stickers, and a magnet roll (less than $1).  The magnet comes with adhesive on one side.

I cut a strip of paper that was about 2 inches wide.  I used a paper cutter since I have sucked at cutting straight lines ever since I was a kid.  I wanted to make the bookmark more durable, so I found a roll of duct tape.  I got this duct tape last summer for another project, but it happens to match my bookmarks quite well.

I carefully taped one side of the cardstock.  Then I saw that I was not careful enough, so I used the paper cutter to trim the edges that were uneven.

Fold the strip in half.

Decorate with stickers.

Cut 2 small pieces of magnet off the roll, and stick them on the ends of the bookmark.

I ended up cutting the ends to make them curved.  I kept the decorating minimal and just used stickers.  But there are so many other fun ways to decorate, like, glitter, paint, stencils, stamps, ribbon, etc.  I think this could be a future project for my daughter to do, to give away to her friends.

Yay, they don’t fall out of the book!